


Fever Dream

by Ediblecrayon, velvetjinx



Series: Creatures of Dark Air [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dream sequences induced by fever, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Hallucinations, Happy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 20:35:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ediblecrayon/pseuds/Ediblecrayon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetjinx/pseuds/velvetjinx
Summary: It starts out like any other shift.





	Fever Dream

It starts out like any other shift.

Elements is crowded and brimming with sexual energy and drunken folk. It’s Seb, Zoe, and Dominic tonight, and the three of them are working the bar like a well oiled machine. Scarlett, Elizabeth, Anthony, and Chris have laid claim to one of the VIP booths, and there’s a bizarre mixture of electro pop and rock booming from the speakers. It’s a full house, and Sebastian’s busy running himself ragged all night. Not that that stops Chris from getting in a grope or two when Seb collects glasses from their table.

It’s like any other shift, so really, no one can fault Sebastian for not realizing something is off.

A leggy succubus saunters in for a glass of ice water, which is odd in and of itself, and okay, maybe he _should_ have been a bit skeptical when she scarfs it down; looking flushed and punchdrunk and babbling about some sort of viral infection. In any case, he _definitely_ realizes she’s not quite all there when she lunges across the bar to attack his lips and _sucks,_ energy flowing through his mouth to hers. He briefly registers Zoe hauling her off him and Mark firmly directing her towards the exit, even though he’s a bit preoccupied gripping the counter like it’s a lifeline and he’s about to fall off the edge. 

When he’s able to focus, Sebastian glances over to the VIP area where Scarlett and Anthony are forcibly yanking Chris back into their booth, and Sebastian makes a mental note to thank them later. Dragons are extremely territorial, and Chris looks as though he’s prepared to stake his claim. His eyes are a slitted electric blue and his hands are looking gnarled and clawlike. When their eyes meet, Sebastian glares at him sharply, mouthing _I’m fine_ and slashing a hand across his throat. After a heated moment, Chris scowls and slinks back into the booth. Satisfied, Sebastian turns back to work.

He spends the remainder of the shift feeling lightheaded and nauseated, which he chalks up to having a good chunk of energy forcibly sucked through his tonsils. Chris hovers around the bar for a solid hour like an anxious mother dragon while Sebastian continuously assures him that he’s fine, until Zoe threatens to castrate Chris with a pair of voodoo tongs, at which point he reluctantly skulks back to their friends. His co-workers are worried, too; even Zoe, although she attempts to appear as disinterested as possible by claiming she doesn’t want to have to step over him if he passes out. Which is utterly ridiculous because sure, he feels a bit faint and there’s an odd buzzing in the back of his skull and he still feels just the tiniest bit sick, but he is _fine_ , goddammit. 

“I’m fine, goddammit,” he snaps, practically snarling at Dominic when he procures a rather frightening looking thermometer to check his temperature. 

And then he is decidedly _not fine_ when he’s walking home with Chris at 3 a.m. and vomits up bile in someone’s garden before promptly collapsing, causing Chris to rush him the remainder of the way home in a bridal carry. He checks out on the way back and next registers Elizabeth leaning over him in bed, eyes scrunched in concern. Her brown hair hangs in front of her like a curtain as she checks Sebastian’s vitals, pressing a cool cloth to his forehead and coaxing some sort of herb into his mouth. He withdraws a hand from the blanket nest Chris seems to have bundled him into and offers her a feeble wave.

“Hi Lizzie,” he slurs, blinking glazed blue eyes at her, “You didn’t have to leave the bar to come here. Go have fun, I’m okay.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath somewhere to his right, and Elizabeth glances over in that direction before returning her gaze to Sebastian. “Sebastian,” she asks gently, laying the back of her hand on his cheek, “Do you know what day it is?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and immediately regrets it because _ow._ “Course I do,” he mumbles, tongue feeling thick and heavy, “Saturday. Just got offa work.” He furrows his brows in confusion. “S’makes it Sunday I guess. Early.”

There’s noise to his right again; splintered wood this time. Sebastian lolls his head over, a dopey smile crossing his face when he sees who it is. “Chris!” He makes to sit up, but Chris carefully pushes him back down into the pillows. Sebastian frowns. “What’d the bedside table do t’you?”

Chris blinks, before looking down and quickly relinquishing the furniture protesting under his grasp. “Sorry. Sorry.” He shakes his head with a self-deprecating smile. “Just got a little surprised for a minute.”

“Surprised about what?” Sebastian asks in confusion. He vaguely notices his throat burns and his voice is raspy, but he finishes his train of thought anyway. “I had work. That woman showed up, I got sick on the way home. Seems pretty straightforward to me.”

Chris brushes Sebastian’s hair off his face, his shoulders set like he’s prepared to deliver some bad news. 

“Seb, it’s 10 a.m. Monday morning.”

Sebastian blinks rapidly, then shakes his head in protest, even though sharp pain begins to wrack his skull. “Nonono, I couldn’t have been asleep that long.” He twists around until he dislodges Chris’s hand, about to speak, when his jaw snaps shut in shock.

Chris’s mating tattoo is completely devoid of color, curling around his right forearm like a blackened snake. 

_That’s not right,_ he thinks wildly, _bonding marks only turn black when the other mate dies._ He realizes he’s hyperventilating when Chris’s harried face swims into view, big hands framing Sebastian’s face soothingly. It feels nice, but strange, because Chris never does things like this. A hug, a clap on the back, an arm slung over his shoulders. Nothing this intimate with someone he isn’t committed to.

“Seb, breathe, okay? Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

“Your mark,” Sebastian gasps out, pulling Chris’s right arm to him forcibly. Chris lands on Sebastian’s pillow with a grunt, bracing himself with his left hand. “Why is your mark black? It’s not supposed to be black!”

Chris’s face morphs from confusion to sadness, then understanding. “Easy,” he murmurs, attempting to tug his arm back, but relenting when Sebastian’s grip tightens further. “Look.” He lifts his left arm and tugs the sleeve up with his teeth, revealing warped strands of blood red energy mixed with Chris’s blue. Then Chris reaches over to tug Sebastian’s left arm to display identical markings. “See? They’re okay. Ours are on the left, remember?” He attempts a smile, but it’s watery and his voice cracks.

And that… is even less right. 

“No,” he rasps out, yanking his arm from Chris’s. He shoves himself into a sitting position, knocking Chris and Elizabeth back from him. “This isn’t funny. Why would you do this? What the fuck is wrong with you?” His head is throbbing and his bones aches, but none of that prevents him from being spitting mad. 

Chris is staring at him as though he’s grown three heads. “Sebastian,” he says slowly, hands raised like he’s trying to comfort a wounded animal. “Baby, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“That!” Sebastian yells, his voice reaching a hysterical pitch. “Why are you calling me that?” He looks around the room wildly, suddenly realizing he doesn’t recognize it. “Where’s Avery?” He swings his head back when Chris makes a sound like he’s been gutted. “He told you, didn’t he? He told you how I feel about you, didn’t he!”

Chris grabs his shoulders and shoves him roughly back down onto the strange mattress. His eyes are wet and his mouth is set in a thin line. “Sebastian, Avery’s gone. He’s _been_ gone. You know this.”

“He’s delirious,” he hears Elizabeth hiss urgently, “and he’s putting too much strain on his heart. I have to sedate him.”

“No.” Sebastian lurches forward kicking both legs upward, only for Chris to throw his full weight on top of him. He hears a male voice muttering an enchantment from the foot of the bed and feels his legs lock in place. 

_When did Anthony get here?_

“Sebastian,” Chris says desperately, pressing down harder when Sebastian tries to buck up again. “Seb, please. Dammit, calm down!”

“No,” Sebastian protests, eyes darting anxiously around the strange room, “no, no--” He freezes when Elizabeth’s hand encircles his wrist, leaving a white hot burn on his pulse point. When she releases him he notices a small glowing rune, and is instantly hit with a wave of drowsiness.

“You’re lying,” he mumbles, struggling feebly against Chris’s hold. “I want to see Avery. Where is he?”

The last thing he sees before his vision whites out is a lone tear rolling down Chris’s cheek.

***

Chris wipes at his face angrily and whirls around to face Anthony and Elizabeth. 

“What. The fuck,” he asks, his tone low and dangerous. 

Elizabeth shakes her head. “His fever is really bad, Chris. He's confused.”

“How could he be so confused that he's forgotten so much?”

Anthony shrugs. “It happens. And by the looks of things, he's only gonna get worse before he gets better.”

Chris slumps, feeling the frustration leave his body, only fear and anxiety remaining. “Worse than this? Can his body handle it?”

“I don't know,” Elizabeth says slowly. “He's not going to be able to feed while he's in this state, which will slow down his recovery, and by the sounds of things he wouldn't feed off you anyway because he thinks Avery is still alive.” She sighs, tucking her hair behind her ear. “We're just going to have to do what we can.”

Chris swallows, his mouth suddenly dry. “Thanks for all your help, guys,” he croaks, and Elizabeth comes around the bed to hug him tightly. 

“Come on, Chris. You know we'd do anything for you guys, just like we know that the feeling is mutual.” Anthony's tone is kind, and Chris feels the tears threatening again. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says thickly. 

Elizabeth looks in the small pouch on her belt and frowns. “I need to go home and make some more of this mix so we can try and keep his fever down. I'll also make a tea version that we can feed to him when he wakes up again.” She pats Chris on the arm, shooting him a small smile. “I'll be back within the hour.”

She kisses him on the cheek and leaves Chris and Anthony watching Sebastian as he sleeps. 

“How long do you think he'll be out?” Chris asks softly. 

Anthony shrugs. “A couple of hours, probably. That was a hell of a whammy she hit him with, but with his fever this bad it's unpredictable.”

Chris nods, and settles into the chair by the bed. Anthony sits on his own chair near the end of the bed, feet stretched out in front of him, and Chris feels his eyes start to close. He forces them open, but he's exhausted, and quickly falls asleep. 

“ _Avery_!”

Chris’s eyes blink open slowly, and sees Sebastian, awake and staring at the ceiling. 

“Avery, I don't understand,” Sebastian whispers to the ceiling, and Chris’s chest clenches. “What are you telling me? You can't be dead. I saw you a couple of days ago.”

Chris looks around, but Anthony isn't there. He can hear a noise from the kitchen, though, and assumes that's where Anthony has got to. 

“No!” Sebastian cries suddenly. “No, they can't have killed you! You and Chris were so happy!” He pauses, listening carefully to voices only he can hear. “Me and Chris? No, I wouldn't have done that to you. And no matter how happy he is with me, it won't be anything like you two had. You two were a once in a lifetime thing, and what am I?”

Chris’s heart breaks when he hears what Sebastian is saying. He had thought that Sebastian was more secure in their relationship these days, but maybe not. 

“No, Avery, don't go!” Sebastian gasps suddenly. “You can't leave Chris! God help me, I wish I could take your place, keep you with Chris. You were so happy together. You made him so happy, please, don't leave!”

Chris can’t hold back the tears any longer and begins to sob, running blindly out the room and through to the living room where Elizabeth is weighing out herbs into small pouches. 

“Chris?” she says, panicked. “Is it Sebastian? What's wrong?”

Chris shakes his head. “He was hallucinating. Having a conversation with Avery. Said he wished he'd died instead.” He begins to sob again, and Elizabeth wraps him in a hug. 

“Come on, Chris, it's just the fever talking. He doesn't remember. He doesn't know how happy you two are.”

“He said that Avery and I were happy together, and that no matter how happy he and I could be it wouldn't be what Avery and I had. He said that Avery and I were a once in a lifetime thing and he didn't think he could make me as happy. I thought… god, I thought we were past this.”

Elizabeth looks up at him, her expression serious but kind. “Chris, Sebastian is really, really sick. If he's forgotten so much that he couldn't remember that Avery had died, he's not going to remember how your relationship developed to what it is today. When the fever passes it'll all work out. You'll see.”

Chris nods, but he can't quell the doubts that rise up within him. He goes back through to sit with Sebastian, who is asleep again--asleep and dreaming. 

Sebastian’d had a lot of guilt when they were first together. Chris knows this--has always known it. But he'd thought they were past that. He thought Sebastian had understood that while Chris would always love Avery and that part of him would always grieve, Chris also loves him, just as much. It isn't the same, of course it isn't. But that doesn't mean that Chris is any less happy with Sebastian. 

“I thought you knew all that,” he murmurs, stroking a lock of hair from Sebastian's clammy forehead. Sebastian moans in his sleep, head tossing on the pillow, and Chris frowns. 

“Hey.” Chris looks up to see Anthony in the doorway, poultice in hand. “Elizabeth sent me through with this. Said it'll hopefully bring his fever down a little.”

Chris nods and takes the poultice, applying it to Sebastian's pulse point in the crook of his elbow and securing it there. If--when--Sebastian gets better they're going to have to have a talk. 

***

_The grass is soft beneath his bare feet._

_Sebastian blinks, startling at the gentle breeze against his face, the warm sunshine on his skin. He’s in his favorite pajamas--a grey A shirt and a pair of soft, threadbare sweats--and he’s perched atop a grassy mountain cliffside. He recognizes it instantly, and his mouth goes dry._

_He used to come here with Avery all the time. They each had their special place with one another, and this had been theirs. They usually came here to spar or talk; sometimes they would just lay back and stare up at the sky, trying to make sense of the various shapes in the clouds._

_“I miss this place.”_

_The voice surprises him, but Sebastian doesn’t start. Maybe a part of him knew this would happen, that they would end up here, where things were safest._

_He glances over his shoulder, smiling sadly at the figure behind him. “I miss it too. I was never able to come back up here, after.”_

_He doesn’t specify after what. They both know the answer to that._

_Avery runs a hand through his faux-hawk, tousling his brown hair even further. “You could, you know. You always loved this place. Bring Chris up here. Don’t lose something you carried so much love for just because I’m not around to enjoy it with you.”_

_Sebastian swipes at his eyes, throat feeling suddenly tight. “No. This place belonged to me and you. There’s memories here, memories that belong to_ us. _I can’t bring Chris in on that, just like he could never bring me in on ones between the two of you.”_

 _Avery steps forward until he’s flush against Sebastian’s back, propping his chin on Seb’s shoulder. “Those were some good memories,” he agrees, arms coming around to envelop Sebastian in an embrace. “And we’ll always have them, Seb, both of us. But it’s time to make some new ones, you_ and _Chris. I’m always going to be with you guys, but both of you need to make a life without me.”_

_Sebastian brings a hand up to tangle his fingers with Avery’s. “I miss you so goddamn much,” he admits, voice cracking. “We both do. Every single day. Almost a century and it never gets easier.”_

_Avery’s arms tighten around him. “I miss you both, too. My two idiots.”_

_Sebastian chews on his lower lip, willing back the tears he feels fighting to escape. “It should have been me,” he says miserably, scrubbing a hand over his face. “You didn’t deserve that. Neither of you did. Why did the two of you have to lose such a great thing between you, when it could have been me instead? I didn’t have anything to lose, but you two lost the world.”_

_A tear manages to sneak out, then another, rolling silently down his cheeks. “I tried, you know. To get you back. I tried to see if we could reverse places. If you could come back, and I died instead.” He risks a glance over at Avery, bracing himself for anger, judgement, something--but Avery’s eyes are kind and brimming with understanding._

_“I know you did,” he says gently, looking out over the cliffside. “And I could have killed you for it.” Avery sighs, offering Sebastian a weary smile. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, Seb. Chris and I were ripped apart far too soon, and it happened in the cruelest way possible. We didn’t have nearly enough time, but it’s in the past. I had my time with Chris, and I’ll never regret a single moment of it. But now it’s your turn. I asked you to take care of him for me--”_

_“Yeah, and I--”_

_“--did just that,” Avery finishes firmly. “And then some. Yes, I made Chris happy, and he did the same for me. But so do you, Seb. This--” he stroked a finger down Sebastian’s dragon blood crystal-- “is proof of that. And I think we’re both in agreement that Chris deserves all the happiness there is.”_

_“Yeah,” Sebastian chokes out, “He does.”_

_Avery hums in agreement. “That’s why you need to go back to him. I know you didn’t leave him deliberately, you never would. But your guilt over me is pulling you away from him, and he needs you. So do me a favor, go continue taking care of him, and give him a kiss from me, okay?”_

_“How is it you and I wound up falling for the same meatball and were never remotely attracted to one another?”_

_Avery smiles, soft and full of sunshine. “There are different kinds of soulmates, Seb. Just because the two of us never wanted to make out doesn't mean we weren't prime examples of ones. All three of us were, in some way or another. Still are. Always will be.”_

_Sebastian laughs, and it sounds pained. “Am I even going to remember this when I wake up? It’s a dream, isn’t it?”_

_“I don’t know. Maybe not at first,” Avery confesses, “But you will remember, when the time is right. Besides...” And here he pulls back, stepping in front of Sebastian to press a kiss to his forehead. “Dreams are just like memories. Sometimes they get lost, but they’ll always find their way back to you.”_

_Sebastian clings to Avery in a tight embrace, body heaving with sobs. “Will I ever see you again?”_

_Avery clings back, hands rubbing Sebastian’s shoulders in a soothing rhythm. “Always, Seb.”_

_And Sebastian closes his eyes, remembers, and believes._

***

“Chris.”

Chris looks up at Elizabeth, eyes red and swollen, to see her smiling softly. 

“His fever’s coming down slowly,” she tells him. “He's out of danger. But,” she says quickly as he's about to speak, “he'll need to feed soon to get his strength up to fight the rest of the virus.”

Chris nods, and Elizabeth and Anthony look at each other. 

“We'll leave you to it,” Anthony says, and Chris gets up to hug them both. 

“Thank you both so much,” he says softly, and Anthony claps him on the shoulder. 

“Any time, man. You know that.”

Chris hears them leave as he continues his vigil over Sebastian. He looks a lot more calm, although his cheeks are still flushed with fever. 

As Chris watches, Sebastian's eyes slowly blink open. 

“Chris?” he croaks, and Chris gives him a wan smile. 

“Hey, Sebastian. How are you feeling?”

“Like I've been hit by a truck. I need water.”

Chris nods, picking up the glass by the bed and arranging the straw so Sebastian can take a few sips, then puts it back on the side. 

“Do you remember what day it is?” Chris asks quietly. 

Sebastian shakes his head. “Should I? Last thing I remember was we were coming home from the club and I was feeling really out of it.”

 _So he doesn't remember, then._ “It's Monday evening. You've been really sick with a fever for days. At one point I thought I was going to lose you.”

Chris hears his voice crack, and Sebastian grips his hand. 

“Hey, I'm still here.”

 _But you didn't want to be_! Chris wants to cry out. Instead, he clears his throat. 

“Elizabeth and Anthony were here helping get your fever down. They said you need to feed to help your body fight the virus.”

“God, Chris,” Sebastian says with a cough. “I really don't know if I can.”

“Don't force it if you can't, but it will help.”

Sebastian looks at him and laughs. “Might as well give it a try. Don't blame me if I end up coughing all over you though.”

Chris strips off quickly and climbs into bed beside Sebastian, pulling Sebastian's boxers down and grasping hold of his cock. Sebastian starts to harden immediately, and he groans, returning the favor. 

Chris is concentrating on making Sebastian feel good, but he can't help but hear Sebastian in his head on a loop saying that he wished he had died instead of Avery. He tries to block it out, but it keeps on, and he looks up to see Sebastian frowning. 

“What's wrong?”

“Chris, you're… you're not getting hard.”

Chris looks down and sees his own cock, still hanging soft between his legs. 

“Oh.”

“Chris, I'm getting no sexual energy from you at all,” Sebastian continues hesitantly, and Chris desperately tries to think sexy thoughts, but Sebastian's voice keeps replaying over and over in his head. “What's wrong?” Sebastian asks him. 

Chris shakes his head. “It's nothing.” He's not getting into this when Sebastian is still so sick. Neither of them need that. 

But Sebastian is persistent. “If it was nothing I’d have made you come by now.”

“Can we just… try again?” Chris asks pleadingly, and Sebastian watches him for a moment, before sighing. 

“Okay. But we're talking about this later.”

This time, Chris just focuses on Sebastian's cock, and memories of that cock inside him, or his own cock in Sebastian's ass, and the voice retreats. He looks down and sees that he's half hard, and almost cries with relief. 

Sebastian begins stroking him again, and Chris kisses and gently bites at Sebastian's neck and jawline. Sebastian is working precome around the head of his cock now, and it feels so fucking good that Chris gasps. 

“That good, baby?” Sebastian asks, and Chris nods. 

“Yeah, ungh, keep doing that.”

He swipes his own thumb over the head of Sebastian's cock as he strokes, and it jerks in his hand. Sebastian uses his other hand to play with Chris's balls, and Chris groans, feeling himself getting close. Sebastian's eyes have turned gold, and he places his left hand on Chris's chest. Chris can feel the energy draining into Sebastian, and the feeling is so intense that he can't hold on any longer, and comes with a cry. 

When he looks up, Sebastian is looking better already, and Chris can't help but kiss him anyway, fever be damned. Then Sebastian is crying out against his mouth, and Chris feels come splashing on his fist. 

Chris nuzzles Sebastian's cheek, wiping his hand on the sheet. 

“Feeling better?” he asks. 

Sebastian nods, then yawns. “I think I could do with a nap, though.”

“Okay. You sleep. I'll fix some soup for when you wake up.”

Chris gets up and dresses quickly, and as he's leaving the room, Sebastian calls his name. 

“What's up?” he asks, turning to face him. 

Sebastian shakes his head. “Nothing. Thanks.”

Chris nods and heads through to the kitchen. 

Shit. 

***

Chris Evans is a shit liar. That’s as true as the sky is blue and the grass green.

Usually, Sebastian has at least an _idea_ as to why Chris was lying, but now, now he honestly isn't sure. The fact that Chris had to put an _effort_ into getting hard was certainly a red flag, but the reason as to why has Sebastian stumped. Mostly. When Chris had been lying severely wounded all those years ago, the thought of sex had been light years away from Sebastian's mind, so maybe that was it? Chris never has handled guilt well.

But there’s a strange niggling in the back of his fevered mind that tells him that isn't it. The impromptu handjob helped, but Sebastian's brain is still fuzzy and disoriented, and he can't seem to pin down whatever he's missing.

He sighs in frustration, settling back into the pillow mountain Chris has arranged for him. He honestly does feel exhausted; maybe a nap isn't such a bad idea. Sebastian snuggles further into his blanket nest and closes his eyes. Hopefully he'll feel better in an hour or two.

Or not.

When he wakes-- _four hours later as the bedside clock so helpfully informs him_ \--he’s freezing and nauseated with a head stuffed of cotton wool. It’s gotten late; the sky is dark and there’s a sliver of moonlight peeking in through the blinds. Chris is nowhere in sight.

Sebastian immediately groans and slams his eyes shut, intending on falling back asleep. Unfortunately, his bladder decides to protest not five minutes later, and he reluctantly heaves himself up and out of bed. When he’s finished and in the midst of washing his hands, Sebastian chances a glance at his reflection and grimaces. Not only is he pale and clammy, but his eyes are bloodshot and highlighted with heavy purple bruises. Another wave of nausea passes over him, and Sebastian flicks off the light with a wince. He’ll probably be back in the next hour or so vomiting up his internal organs.

He exits the bathroom, but instead of heading back to bed he stumbles down the hall and into the living room. Chris is fast asleep on the sofa, looking none the worse for wear. Chris has always been a worrier, and he won’t relax until Sebastian’s fever has broken, which probably won’t be for several more days. Gingerly, keeping mind of his tender stomach and achy joints, Seb leans down to card clammy fingers through Chris’s hair, traveling downward to trace the rough of beard. Amazingly, Chris doesn’t even twitch, a testimony to how drained he is. Dragons have extremely heightened senses, and any other day Chris would have been up and heading towards the bedroom before Sebastian’s feet had even hit the floor.

Gnawing at his lip, Sebastian trails his hand lightly down Chris’s arm, caressing their bonding mark before curling around his fingers. He glances back at his bondmate’s face, but Chris remains asleep, and Sebastian feels something in his chest tear open; raw and painful. Whatever happened while he was unconscious must have been pretty serious, especially if it’s causing Chris this much grief. What’s even more concerning is the fact that Chris is choosing to sleep in the living room rather than their bed. It’s not that big a deal, but it hurts far more than it should. 

There’s another few moments of peace before Seb’s hit with an abrupt wave of nausea that makes his vision swim and stomach roil. He yanks his hand back and darts back out into the hall, somehow managing to make it back to the bathroom without collapsing. So much for an hour or two. 

The door swings shut behind him and Seb drops to his knees, an acidic yellow bile emptying into the toilet as he heaves, white-knuckling the basin.

Hopefully this thing is over with soon. For Chris’s sake, if not his.

***

Chris wakes to the noise of Sebastian retching in the bathroom and he's immediately on his feet, padding through the hallway and knocking on the door before opening it. Sebastian is even paler than usual and Chris lays a soothing hand on his tensing shoulders. 

“Ugggggh,” Sebastian moans into the porcelain. “This is not how I wanted today to go.”

“You and me both,” Chris replies with a soft laugh. “Do you think you're done?”

Sebastian nods. “I don't think there's anything left in there to throw up.”

Chris gets up and fills the glass by the sink with water from the tap, and hands it to Sebastian. Sebastian starts to wash his mouth out as Chris wets a cloth with tepid water, wringing it out until it's just damp. He sits next to Sebastian, taking the glass off of him before wiping his face tenderly. 

Sebastian leans into the touch as though starved for it, and Chris's heart clenches. He knows Sebastian loves him, but to also know that Sebastian wishes he could take Avery’s place hurts him more than he can say. He knows on some level that Sebastian thinks like that because he loves Chris and wants to see him happy, but if Sebastian doesn't realize how happy Chris is with him…

Chris feels like a horrible bondmate. 

But of course Chris says none of this. Instead, he flushes the toilet and gets up, pulling Sebastian to his feet. 

“Come on. Let's get you back to bed.”

“‘Kay,” Sebastian agrees, and Chris wraps his arm around Sebastian's waist, supporting him as they walk through to the bedroom. He tucks Sebastian into bed and brushes his damp hair from his forehead. 

“Think you can get some sleep?” Chris asks softly. 

Sebastian nods. “I think so,” he replies, yawning. As Chris turns to go back to the living room, Sebastian catches hold of his hand. “Stay?” Sebastian says, and he looks so wistful that Chris can't help but nod. 

He lies on top of the comforter and Sebastian snuggles into his side. Sebastian's fever is back and he's like a furnace next to Chris, making him glad he's not under the covers. 

Sebastian soon falls into a deep, feverish sleep, but Chris lies awake for a long time, thinking about what Sebastian had said at the height of his fever. 

***

_”I'm hurting him. I think I'm sick out there, and it's hurting him, and I don't know how to stop it because I don't remember any of this when I wake up.”_

_They're at the cliffside again, sitting cross legged on the earth while Sebastian plucks sadly at the grass. Avery picks up a wayward blade and runs it down Seb's cheek, causing him to laugh and swat it away before the mood sombers up again._

_“You'll remember,” Avery says after a while, looking out into the distance. “Like I said, I'm not sure how long it'll take, but I'm positive you'll remember at some point. And then you can tell Chris and he'll cry and be thrilled I was with you like the sap that he is.”_

_Sebastian pokes at his grass pile. “It's just so unfair,” he says thickly, chest aching. “You should be the one with the happy ending. What the hell did I ever do to deserve it? All those years we spent dicking around caused him so much pain--”_

_“You can't pin that on yourself,” Avery interrupts firmly. “It was killing both of you but Chris is a big boy. He knew what he was getting himself into and he could have stopped any time he wanted.”_

_“Yeah,” Sebastian mutters, “So could have I. I should have fought him harder. Shouldn't have happened to begin with, but I was so afraid he was going to do something stupid and hurt himself that I just went along with it. And I was selfish. There was a tiny part of me that was hoping it actually meant something to him apart from a means to numb the pain.”_

_“Of course it did,” Avery stresses, and it's the first time since this whole thing started that he's hearing a bit of frustration creep into the dragon's tone. “Seb, if all he wanted was to drown himself in sex and forget he could have gotten that anywhere. Instead he went to_ you. _Because he trusted you and felt comfortable and he knew you would understand. Was it right of him to keep pushing that burden of you? Of course not. But he knew you were the only one who would be able to handle it, to give him what he needed. A brothel would have given him pampering and pleasure, but that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted comfort, a safe spot, somewhere he could shed his mask and not have to worry when he picked up and ran later.”_

_Seb raises an eyebrow. “Don't get me wrong, I hated that he came to me and I hated those years between us, but I'd do it again. I'm just as guilty Ave, probably more so. There's no need to be so harsh on Chris. He wasn't in the right headspace.”_

_“No,” Avery agrees, “he wasn't. That doesn't stop him from having acted like a coward. I loved and will always love Chris, Seb, more than anything. I knew him inside and out, and one of the things he was never good at was expressing his feelings. Even with me. He'd pull the passive aggressive act for as long as he could, I'd yell, he'd yell, it would devolve into angry sex, and then we would both talk and cry about it after. With you he was so far in his head I think he only remembered the angry sex part and forgot how to communicate. Hell, I think he forgot how to cry for awhile there too.”_

_Seb looks out over the cliff. “He did. I never really got the chance to see whether he did or not because he would always pick up and run, but in the later years right before he'd kick me out he was always red-eyed.”_

_Avery makes a sad noise. “My poor idiots,” he says softly, rubbing his thumb over Seb's knuckles. “I wish I could have been there for you.”_

_Seb turns his hand over so his fingers are linked with Avery's._

_“You've always been around for us, Avery,” he swears, as his vision shimmers again._

_“Always.”_

***

Sebastian is dreaming. Chris can tell by the way his eyes are moving behind his eyelids. He wonders what Sebastian is dreaming about, but knows he won't ask him. Not after what he said, just in case…

Chris lays a hand gently on Sebastian's forehead as he slumbers. His fever seems to have gone down considerably, but Chris will have to use the thermometer once he wakes up to be sure. 

As Chris watches, Sebastian's eyes blink open, and he looks confused for a moment before his expression clears and he smiles. 

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Chris replies softly. “I think your fever might have gone down, but I just need to check, okay?”

Sebastian submits quite happily to Chris playing nurse, and patiently lies with the thermometer in his mouth until Chris takes it out. 

“So how am I, doc?” Sebastian croaks teasingly. 

“You'll live,” Chris says dryly, but then realizes what he'd said and feels his expression tighten. Sebastian looks at him curiously, but Chris just gives himself a mental shake and smiles. “Anyway, looks like your temperature is almost back to normal. We'll have to keep an eye on it, but I think you're on the mend.” He pauses. “You should probably feed again. Keep your strength up.”

Chris is pretty sure he’s managed to hide his reluctance when Sebastian grins and nods. “Sounds good,” Sebastian tells him, and Chris can't help but smile at him. 

He climbs onto the bed and pulls down the sheet. Sebastian's cock is already tenting his boxers obscenely, and Chris licks his lips, feeling his blood rush south to his own hardening cock. He's glad he's not going to have the same problems as last time. 

As he undoes his jeans, Sebastian pushed down his own boxers, idly stroking his cock as he watches Chris. Chris pushes his jeans and boxers down just enough that Sebastian can get one hand on his cock and the other on his balls as Chris begins to stroke Sebastian. 

Chris loses himself in the feel of Sebastian's hands on him, on the feel of Sebastian's cock in his hand, and it's not long before he can feel the energy whirling around them. He leans down, kissing at Sebastian's neck as he feels himself getting close. Then Sebastian's left hand is on his chest, drawing the energy from him and the feel of it is enough to push him over the edge and he gasps, biting down on Sebastian's shoulder. He feels Sebastian shudder underneath him as his cock jerks in Chris's hand, and Chris swipes his thumb over the head as he strokes Sebastian through it. 

His hand is covered in come so he sits back, looking Sebastian in the eye as he licks it off, making Sebastian groan. “Fuck, Chris, you're so fucking hot.”

Chris smirks down at him. “I'd kiss you, but you're kinda gross right now.”

“Fuck you,” Sebastian retorts, but there's no heat in it, and Chris laughs. But then Sebastian's words from his fever hallucination come back to him and his laughter cuts off abruptly. 

“I need to let Anthony and Elizabeth know you're on the mend,” Chris says quickly, and escapes, ignoring Sebastian's confusion. 

***

Sebastian is definitely missing something here.

As he watches Chris bolt from the room like a spooked colt, he feels that niggling feeling in the back of his skull again. He strains to place it, but the damn feeling fades away as quickly as it had come, leaving Seb restless and irritated. _Clearly_ something very wrong had occurred while he was under, and Chris is resorting to his old method of shutting down again whenever things hit too close to home.

Feeling somewhat refreshed and a lot like a pissed off hedgehog, Sebastian flings back the comforter, planting his feet on the carpet. He ignores the bout of vertigo that hits and drags himself up and over to his side of the dresser, pulling out fresh clothes and slamming the drawers shut harder than necessary. So they’re back to this again. Fine, if Chris wants to play this game, let him.

He marches down the hall to the bathroom, no longer attempting to be quiet. Fuck Chris and his shitty communication skills. Fuck that succubus for giving him this goddamn fever. And fuck Seb himself for not being able to remember whatever the hell it is he’s supposed to.

Sebastian makes his way into the bathroom, tossing his clothes on to the shelf besides the vanity. He strips down and kicks his sweaty clothing into a pile by the door, and leans into the shower, turning the dial as hot as he can manage. A breeze from the open window sends a shiver across his fever chilled skin, and he turns to close his when he hears a low murmur and the crunching of leaves. Sebastian glances outside to see Chris pacing back and forth against the side of the house, gesticulating wildly and muttering into the cell phone pressed against his ear. With a pang, Seb notices that Chris’s eyes are red-rimmed, and his voice is cracking.

“I don’t know what to do, Anthony,” Chris is saying. “His fever’s gone down, but he keeps losing time so he doesn’t--” He cuts off, presumably listening to Anthony’s reply. “No, I can’t talk to him about this, what the fuck am I supposed to say? He’s starting to realize something’s wrong; I just flew out of there after he fed, and he hasn’t been able to feed like he should because I haven’t been into it. I love him, Mack, you know that, but right now I can’t even be in the same _room_ with him, not after--” Chris buries his face in his hand, breath hitching. “I wish Avery was here,” he sobs into his hand, shoulders shaking. “He’d know what to do, what to say, he was always good with these types of things. But then again--” his breath hitches to a higher, hysterical note-- “if Avery were here we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with, would we? I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit, not knowing how to react, or how to explain to Seb why I can’t even stay in the same room with him longer than five minutes.” Chris’s voices grows soft, timid. “I miss Avery, Mack, and I don’t know what to do without him here.”

Sebastian springs back from the window, heart racing and tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Chris is saying something else but Seb doesn’t bother attempting to listen. 

So that’s how it is. He’d always knew this would happen, that Chris would begin to have regrets just like he had when they first became physical. Chris would always love Avery, would never stop, and Seb would never begrudge him that. But Sebastian had thought that he would be enough, that he and Chris were pretty solid. 

Apparently not.

“I gotta go Mack,” Chris is saying when Seb finally tunes back into the reality station. “I think I hear the shower going, and his temperature might be down but he’s still pretty sick. I’ll talk to you later when you stop by, okay? Thanks man, see you soon.”

Sebastian dives for the lock on the door, then leaps into the shower. There had never been any boundaries between them, even before they had mated, so the lock is immediately going to appear suspicious.

Sebastian couldn’t care less.

He feels that niggling again and brushes it away; the ache in his chest suddenly mingled with rage. It’s one thing to feel sorrow and regret, but for Chris not to even _talk_ to him about it?

Splendid. Looks like they’re back to square one. 

Well, if Chris wants to go back to this game, then he’s in for a hell of a struggle.

***

When Chris returns and tries to get into the bathroom to check in Sebastian, the door is locked. 

They never lock doors. They've never had that kind of relationship. They don't shut each other out. 

Except now, apparently, they do. 

Chris raps the door with his knuckles, suddenly worried. If Sebastian really wishes he'd died, then…

“Sebastian?” he calls. “You okay in there?”

“I'm fine. Can't I take a shower?” Sebastian yells back, and his tone is so abrupt that it hurts Chris like a punch to the gut. 

“Uh. Okay,” he calls, and retreats to the bedroom to wait. While Sebastian is in the shower he changes the fever-sweat-soaked sheets and dumps the dirty ones in the laundry hamper. He'll deal with them later. 

When Sebastian finally emerges he looks a little better. He certainly smells better, and Chris considers joking about that, but Sebastian looks… he looks _angry_ , and Chris doesn't know why. 

“Uh, I changed the sheets,” he says quietly. 

“I noticed,” Sebastian bites out, tossing his dirty clothes in the hamper on top of the sheets. 

“Have I done something to piss you off?” Chris asks, an ache in his chest. 

“The fuck do you think?” Sebastian snarls, and Chris takes a step back. “You know what, Chris? I can't deal with you right now. Go see Anthony or someone.”

Chris’s temper flares suddenly. “You can't deal with _me_? What the fuck is wrong with you? If this is a symptom of your sickness then you'd better get the fuck over it soon.”

“You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd like it if you weren't in the wrong. Perfect Chris. You're such an asshole.”

Chris’s eyes narrow. “Oh, I'm an asshole for caring for you? Or an asshole for loving you so much that you really…” He cuts himself off quickly, but Sebastian picks up on it, of course. 

“I really what?”

“You really fucking hurt me, okay? When you were feverish you said some fucked up shit and it hurt, okay?” Chris can feel tears threatening and blinks them back. “Maybe I do need to go to Anthony's until we both calm the fuck down.”

He turns to go, but Sebastian's hand is on his arm, holding him in place. 

“Chris.” Sebastian's tone is gentler now. “Chris, what did I say that could make you hate me so much you'd rather have Avery back?”

Chris looks at Sebastian in shock to see tears streaming down his cheeks. “What?”

“I heard you. On the phone to Anthony, when I was getting in the shower. You said you wished Avery was here.”

“Shit.” Chris scrubs a hand down his face. “That wasn't… Sebastian, I didn't mean it like that. All I meant was that he was better at knowing what to say and he'd be able to fix us better than I can.”

“Oh. Fuck, Chris, I didn’t realize.” Sebastian looks worried now. “Why do we need fixing?” 

Chris sighs, staring at his feet. “Because apparently you wish you'd died instead of Avery. Because apparently you still don't realize how much I love you. Because apparently I'm the worst bondmate in the world for not making you feel like you're important to me--just as important as Avery was, but in a different way.”

“Oh, Chris. Shit. Chris, you're not a terrible bondmate. I admit, there was a time when I did wish that, and sometimes I wish that you'd never had to go through that, but I don't…” Chris looks up to see Sebastian run his hand through his hair frustratedly. “I love you. And I know you love me. But I miss Avery too, you know? And I don't know what I was thinking when I said those things, but that's not how I feel now, here, with you.”

Relief courses through Chris so intensely that his knees almost buckle. “You mean that?” he asks hoarsely, and Sebastian wraps his arms around Chris's waist. 

“I swear to you.” Sebastian's face scrunched, and he frowns. “I'm sure there's something that I'm forgetting here. Something to do with that.”

“You'll remember when you need to,” Chris says softly, and kisses him. 

***

_You will remember when the time is right._

The voice echoes in Sebastian's head, and his eyes burn in realization.

“ _Avery,_ ” he gasps, slumping against Chris as he's suddenly bombarded from the memories of his dream. Their special spot; the grass beneath his feet, wind on his face, Avery’s arms around him--

“--eb. Sebastian!” Chris's voice was tinged with alarm.

Oh, right. He’s currently clinging to his bondmate so not as to fall over.

“I'm okay,” he reassures Chris weakly, patting him on the arm. Chris, naturally, seems highly disbelieving of that statement. 

“Yeah, you’re doing just swell. C’mon, back to bed.” 

Once Chris ensures Sebastian is swaddled in blankets to his satisfaction, he sits on the edge of the mattress, pressing the back of his hand to his bondmate’s forehead. Sebastian swats it away.

“I don’t have a fever anymore. Chris, listen-”

“You’re still warm,” Chris says, biting his lip. “We’ll… we’ll talk later, okay?”

“Chris, _no._ ” Sebastian shoots out a hand to clamp down around Chris’s wrist, over their bonding mark. “I remember. Avery came to visit me. In my dream,” he adds when Chris’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “We were at this cliff we used to go to, just the two of us. He looked so _happy_ Chris, so young and healthy.”

“Seb,” Chris interrupts, shaking his head weakly, “Are you sure we should be discussing this now?”

“ _Yes!_ And we started talking about you.” Sebastian blinks, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. “He knew how I felt, after. How much I wanted him back for you, how much I _tried_ to find a way, just to see your smile again. Because, Chris, back then, Avery _was_ your smile, and without him it was like the sunshine slipping behind the clouds.” He tangles their fingers together when Chris’s breath hitches on a sob. “I always felt like I failed both of you. Ave told me to take care of you, and I didn’t. And then we started being physical and I just made things messy and complicated.”

Chris swipes at his eyes, squeezing Seb’s fingers with his other hand. “We both did. I never blamed you for that, Seb, for any of it. I was such a dick to you, I can’t believe you actually forgive me for using you like that.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Sebastian raises the hand not entwined with Chris’s to thumb at the tears leaking from Chris’s blue eyes. “Chris, back then I would have done anything to bring Ave back. And yes, I did wish I had been in his place, more than once. But I’m happy, now, with you, and I know Avery is happy for us too. I could never leave you, I’m too damn selfish to go a day without you. I couldn’t hurt you like that either. I already hurt you enough.”

“Sebastian, no.” Chris lifts their linked hands, pressing a kiss to Seb’s knuckles. “We were both in an awful place back then, but you never hurt me, not deliberately. And I know you never would now.”

Sebastian leans up, wincing when his fever-battered body aches in protest. When he’s able to steady himself, he brings his free hand up to cup Chris’s jaw before pressing a kiss to his bondmate’s lips, soft and full of meaning. “That’s from Avery,” he says with a tearful smile. 

Chris crushes him to his chest, and they cling to one another, full of warmth and love.

And if either one of them vaguely feels as though a third pair of arms settle around them, they don’t mention it.

***

They fall asleep like that, wrapped around each other so tightly that Chris can barely tell where he ends and Sebastian begins. When he wakes, the sun is low in the sky, and he feels Sebastian stir beside him. 

“Hey,” Chris says softly, looking lovingly at his bondmate. Sebastian looks a lot better; his eyes are brighter and his cheeks have some colour to them. 

“Hey,” Sebastian replies, yawning. “Hmm, I'm kinda hungry.”

“We could order pizza? Or I could make mac’n’cheese, I guess--”

“Chris.” Sebastian smiles wolfishly. “I meant I'm _hungry_.”

Chris's eyes widen. “Oh! Well,” he says with a grin, running his hand down Sebastian's naked body to grasp his cock, “I guess you'll just have to feed, then.”

Sebastian gasps, his hips moving as he fucks Chris's fist. “God, Chris, want you to fuck me. Need you so bad.”

“You sure you're up to that?” Chris asks, uncertain. “You're still recovering and you're gonna be pretty weak.”

“And this will make me feel a lot better. Trust me?”

Chris does trust him, and he smiles, leaning down to kiss Sebastian as he strips out of his clothes. When he's naked he lowers himself to lie on top of Sebastian between his spread thighs. They kiss unhurriedly, and Chris rolls his hips, rubbing their hard cocks together. Sebastian groans and huffs into Chris's mouth. 

“Fuck, Chris, I need more,” Sebastian moans. “Need your fingers in me, need your cock, please, baby.”

Chris nods, fetching the lube from the drawer. He coats his fingers, then shifts back on his knees and presses a finger inside. Usually he'd tease for a while, but they're both too desperate for that right now. 

Sebastian makes the most amazing noises as Chris fingers him open, moans and gasps and whines and whimpers that make Chris's cock leak. By the time he adds a third finger Sebastian is begging almost constantly, and Chris leans down and quiets him with a kiss. 

“Getting you nice and ready for me, baby. Don't wanna hurt you.”

Sebastian rocks his hips down, fucking himself on Chris's fingers. “You won't, I'm so ready for you, Chris, please!”

Chris shakes his head, smiling, but pulls his fingers out carefully. He slicks up his cock and positions himself before pushing into tight heat. Sebastian gasps and claws at his back as he pushes in slowly, until his hips are pressed against Sebastian's ass. 

“You okay?” he asks softly, dropping a kiss on Sebastian's nose. 

Sebastian nods. “Yeah, fuck, Chris, you feel so good inside me, just like always.” He takes a deep breath then looks up at Chris through his eyelashes. “You can move now.”

Chris smiles and leans down to kiss Sebastian as he begins to move, fucking him at a slow, steady pace. Sebastian digs his nails into Chris's back as Chris shifts the angle of his hips, then suddenly Sebastian cries out as Chris hits that spot inside him. 

“Oh fuck, Chris, baby, fuck me harder, come on, make me come,” Sebastian groans, and Chris nods, speeding up his hips and fucking Sebastian faster and harder. Sebastian reaches down to stroke himself, resting his left hand on Chris's chest, and Chris feels the energy swirling around them. The combination of that and Sebastian's ass tight around his cock drive Chris higher and he's getting close. 

“Fuck, Sebastian, gonna come,” he gasps out. 

“Me too, baby, come on, come inside me,” Sebastian moans encouragingly, before crying out as he comes with a cry, driving Chris over the edge. Chris shudders through it as Sebastian feeds, then opens his eyes to see Sebastian grinning up at him. 

“Feel better?” Chris asks with a laugh, even though he can see that he does. 

Sebastian drags him down into a kiss. “Mmm, much better,” he hums. 

Chris pulls out carefully and gets up, padding through to the bathroom for a damp cloth. When he returns he cleans both of them up, then lies down beside Sebastian, drawing him into his arms against his chest. 

“I love you, Chris,” Sebastian says softly. 

“I love you too,” Chris replies, holding Sebastian tighter. He knows they’re likely to have more misunderstandings--they’re both bad enough at communicating that it was pretty inevitable--but at least they’ll never need to doubt their love for one another again. Chris smiles, mouthing, “Thanks, Avery,” at the ceiling. 

He knows Avery will get the message.

**Author's Note:**

> We are velvetjinx and edible-crayon on Tumblr.


End file.
